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pHuOnGiE83
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Name: pHuOnG
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 8/3/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: gOing oUt anD haViNg a G-goLLy GoOd tiMe.. sLeEpiNg..ZzZzZzz yO mE gUsTaR mUcHo..! anD hAviNg LoTs Of GoOd sEx..! =P
Expertise: mAkiNg GoOd LoVe..! eAtiNg FoOd.. maKinG moRe GoOd LoVe..!! kNoWinG hOw To haVe fUn..!.. anD oF cOurSe hAviNg VeRy GoOd sEx...!!! =P
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/25/2003
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| today... today?? what a day... =/ i got my math test back today, i got a C... on all other occasions, i would be happy... but not this time, i failed... i thought i would have done better, but i ended up with a freaken CCCCCCCCC........ =( it really made me feel so down... after class was over and while i was waiting for the elevator, i couldnt take it anymore, i just bursted out in tears... thats the first time this whole year i cried at school... for school!!!!! i dont EVER remembering crying over school... but here, this day... i did... i just couldnt hold it back.. i felt sorry for myself before, but now i realize that shouldnt be how i feel... i shouldnt feel sorry for myself, i did this.. no one else, i dont deserve to feel sorry for myself... more than anything, im angry with myself... all these "why's" and "what if's" come into my head... but its too late, i feel like its over... and when i got home today, i was in the kitchen with my mom, and she was just telling me that i should be trying hard in school and getting a good education to better myself.. because shes not going to live forever, my parents arent going to stay alive till i die, to take care of ME.. it just made me feel like shit, cuz im letting myself down, and them as well, even though they have no clue of it.. i really dont know what to do... and i dont think theres much that i can do... sighs!!!!!! i just cant believe i brought myself down to this level... i've never felt like a failure... always average in whatever i did... but now... sighs.... i feel worthless... good for nothing, good for no one... it really feels crappy.. why couldnt i just be the typical smart asian that flies through school with no problems... and actually enjoys being in class.. i feel like i've hit rock bottom, i know my life isnt over, but thats how i feel... how i wish i could turn back time... ok time for me to try to do my essay... or cry out some more, at least it helps me to let it out... "The Great Depression" has entered into phuong's life.... | | |
| OMG!!!! i feel like shit right now...! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i cant stand it.. i really cant take the feeling of failing out of school... theres so much shit i have to take into consideration, im basically failing out of school.. heres the situation, at the end of this semester i have to get a gpa of better than 1.50... but i might not be able to do that.. if i dont, i get kicked out, but if i get better than that.. which i think i might be able to get a 1.70... but that doesnt take me off academic probation.. so i would take one class in the summer, and if i get a C or better my gpa will be a 2.00.. and when i go bak to fall semester ill be off probation, but the thing is.. that summer class is like 600...!! =( it would be great if i knew i would get the best of things, but theres always that negative thinking that brings me down to 0... even if i decide to go to a community college, it will be hard for me to go bak to a cal state... cuz of the fact that i would be leaving with a gpa of under a 2.00.. and if i did decide to come back, i would have to enroll into a special program, which basically eats up a crap load of money, because i would have to raise my gpa with those classes, and those classes are 600 each... thats like half of a normal semester of tuition.. =*( not to mention theres only 1 week of school left, and then finals week... theres not much of a chance for me to raise my grades... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh im going crazy thinking about it.. lately i've been going out to get away from things, when im out i dont think of this problem, but once im home alone in my room in the dark... it all comes back.. its like taking drugs, it goes away for that time, but once its over, life is back to the way it was before u took the drugs... i know i cant blame anyone for whats going on with me, its my own fault for being lazy and not taking school that serious... now im paying for it, and what a way to learn my lesson... i wish i had a chance to do it all over again... "if only" ... i just hope to god my gpa is a 1.70 and i get that chance to take a summer class and raise my gpa.. then ill be on track again... sad thing is, my parents know NOTHING about my problem, and i dont want to tell them.. no matter what, i have to hide it..  sighs, this is the point in my life that i regret the most... i've always been like.. blah i dont care.. i can fix it.. or it isnt really relavent in my life.. so i never cared much for anything.. but this is IT.. the thing that can either make or break me... well yea... thats it.. i dont have to go back to a cal state, but it would be better for ME... so many ways i can go.. which way is the best.. hell, i dont even know... and im out of time... schools over, summer is here.. sighs...!! talk about depression... my friends are behind me, want me to do my best, but they cant fix my problem.. all they can do is stand behind me and try to boast me up from being down, take me out, try to have a good time with me.. but they always have their own problems to deal with, and i do feel like im all alone.. not the best feeling in the world.. but i guess its part of life, its what is shaping me as a person... i guess.... =/ who the fuck knows... i dont really care either, wait.. im talking out of anger now.. ok blah.. i gotta get ready and go to church..... bye world.... | | |
| OMFG....... i was DONE uploading all my pics, but my dsl got retarded on me.. and all my work went away..... =( so now im going to try again...
ok, here are some pics from my trip to NY...
here's me and qwin in the subway.. 72nd street is where we got on and off to go to the subway.. cuz our hotel was on 31st and 71st street.. i think..... it was RIGHT next to Central Park... as u can see at the sign on top.. hehe
here we are on the subway!! subways are sooo cool!! i like riding it.. we even spent a night riding the subways whole route.. going one way, and then back again.. it was cool.... i enjoyed it, it was soooo relaxing cuz we did that at like 4am...
here we are in..... u guessed it! Times Square... dont we all look so happy.. and indeed, we all were...! it was the night before we were going to head back to cali...
do ya'll reconize the place.. that big stick in the back.. isnt it so cool... we went shopping... can u see?? and we also had some Coldstone.. my god.. it was so crowded, even late at night and freezing outside.. but it was GREAT.. and dont we all look cute and gitty..? hehe...
we're STARS... we're RAZZLING.. and DAZZLING... in CHICAGO...
arent we so cute, we took pics wit REAL NYPD officers... and the left one actually looks like a pig.. hehehe
here's Central Park.. isnt it pretty??
this is qwin and ai just doing nothing in the hotel room....
ai found this in the subway station while we were waiting for a subway... somebody peed in that bottle.. and thats ai's foot.. isnt NY lovely...?
this is us in Atlantic City, New Jersey.. where all the casinos are at... and its right next to the beach... we went shopping at Pac Sun.. LOL... and i ate a cheese steak sandwich there... yummie...
our trip to NY rocked!! i mean... we missed 2 days of school, cuz we left on a friday and came back on a monday night... no parents for 10 days.. it was GREAT!!!!! i felt like i was on top of the world... i miss it so much... now that im back in cali.. life seems so miserable.. lol.... so much drama and worries... i feel another vacation coming.....? right vickie? *winkwink* hehe, but for real.. i felt so much safer walking at night in NY then i do here... odd isnt it? ppl always imagine NY wit muggers and such, but in reality i saw nothing like that.. it was full of nice people, although some were rude as fuck.. but generally it was filled with nice people.. haha... one thing that i missed was my car... but then seeing the driving conditions.. i would NOT want to drive in NY... its quite crazy... and seeing a little bit of NJ was cool... wow, now i can say i saw the west coast and east coast.. cuz i saw the beach in NJ... felt weird, cuz the water was on the opposite side... LOL... well anyways... i feel like ill be updating my xanga.. at least once a week or so.. so keep dropping by... =) ..
well those are just some pics for now.. im too tired to upload more.. so enjoy... and just wanted to share my trip with you guys... bye!
OH, and thanks a whole bunch to JOE for helping me upload those pics.. ok BYE!
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| eww, im so stupid! i have NO idea how to upload pics.. and i wish i could... cuz i got mad pics from my trip to NY wit the girls... blah! so umm.. anybody wanna help me? i would so appreciate it! well anyways... umm.... ya! my xanga suks... bye! | | |
| UPDATE: HI... happy new years eve to everybody! well im such a loser... stayin home all alone on this day.. well... yea.. LOL... i like being by myself anyways.. run around the house NAKED! LOL.. jk.. but yea.. im in pain so i didnt want to spend it at my aunts house wit all my cousins, whom i miss... well im finally gettin those braces.. today i got the spacers in.. n they freaken bug the crap out of me.. i ate ... chao? if thats the spelling.. well im sure most of u viets know wat im saying.. and i couldnt chew the damn chicken! i had to chew it with my front teeth.. and swallow everything else.. now how bummerish is that? ill be gettin my braces in within 2 weeks.. totally scared... AND.. my wisdom teeth cost 300 each to take out.. sad huh? n have surgery on them cuz somethings wrong wit the way they're growing.. sighs* PAIN and AGONY! OH yea.. merry late xmas to u guys too .. i didnt get much for xmas.. cuz i dunno.. LOL.. but my babes got me a gameboy advanced wit mario cart.. which is cool.. thanks love! i also got to spend xmas eve wit my hubby.. so that was great... well i guess thats all thats new with me... another month till school starts.. sighs* i HATE it! omg.. o yea! i scratched the front bottom lip of my car.. sighs* i was so freaken mad.. o well... not like i care.. hahhaa.. i gotta tell my dad to repaint it anyways... hope he doesnt yell at me for that... hehhe did i mention i cant eat?? lol... thats the thing that suks the most.. i mean .. HELLO?? i only LOVEEEEEEE food...
lately i've been shopping wit kat a lot! but yet, we come home wit NOTHING.. LOL... one day we spent like 10 hours at the malls n stuff.. how retarded is that?? =P but its all good.. exercise? and i saw my lover yesterday too... and thuy.. shes looks so pretty.. cuz shes a woman now! "you work it girl" =P
NOTE: (people that drive stick will feel me).... DRIVING WITH LOTS OF TRAFFIC SUKS ASS!!!!!! i mean it! at least automatic u just step on the brake n let go.. step n let go.. but damn! first gear.. go.. brake.. neutral.. n first gear n go.. wtf is that?? its so tiring..! LOL but hey... its my dads fault for buying me that car!!!!! LOL.. hehehe.. i bet u all thought i was gonna say its my fault huh? but NOPE my dad wanted me to drive stick.. so yea... too bad for me... stuck wit it till i graduate college... which will be like 30 years.. at the rate im going....
well moving on! im really bored... i usually eat when im bored, but then again.. I CANT EAT!!!! =X yea i complain a lot! =) o well.... its almost time to redo my hair.. so it will look good! =) ok thats enough of blogging.. im kinda bored of this too.. so yea.. till next one... LATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTe
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